So now that things have calmed a bit, I'll write a proper blog post. I have been busy healing and trying to take it easy. It is working so far. My incisions have either healed or are healing nicely. I'm going to have decent scars. Three will be visible, well visible to me, and the fourth is inside my belly button. The one on my left side is going to be the biggest and the one that hasn't fully healed just yet. It was the only one that had medical tape under the bandages. They told me that I could take the tape off after a week, but I was a bit concerned about that. Every website I checked said to leave the tape on until it fell off, and to just cut the pieces that peeled back. That didn't make much sense to me either. So I decided to wait until I could call the doctor. I didn't get the chance. The top part was peeling a bit and it caught my sweat pants and ripped halfway off. I freaked out a little bit, and when I looked down, I freaked more. The wound is wide and deep and was still an open wound. I rushed upstairs and woke up Husband, who had to convince me that my insides were not going to fall out. He put a large band-aid on it and took the next ten minutes to convince me I was okay. It really isn't that deep, it just looks bad because it is an open wound.
I know I've gone on about this since the surgery, and I'm sorry for the ones who have had to listen to me, but in my defense, this was a really traumatic experience for me. Yes, I know it was a laproscopic surgery and an out patient procedure, but this is the biggest and scariest thing I have experienced. In the surgery world, this was a minor thing, especially compared to my friend, Springfield who has had open heart surgery, but, like everything, it is a spectrum and this is where I am on the spectrum. I was expecting a cyst removal and an appendectomy, not everything else. I didn't expect it to be an actual serious surgery. The fallopian tube was close to bursting, which would have been a life threatening event. I also don't know what that is going to do to my system, my cycle, or my reproductive capabilities. I don't know what is going to happen now that my appendix is gone, although I am now a statistic. 1 in 2000 people have their appendix removed at some point in their lives. I don't know if I will ever have to go through that again. Now that I have had one cyst, does this mean I'm going to get more? What happens if I get another cyst on my other fallopian tube and I lose that one? And where the hell is my right ovary??? All these things have been going through my mind and I'm kind of freaked out about it. I don't know how these things are going to impact my life. I know that a life style change is inevitable. I'm trying to get my health in check and sacrifices must be made. The biggest one is my caffeine consumption. I love coffee. I live on it. I am really, very upset that I can't really drink it anymore. It isn't fair. As an insomniac, I need it to be awake when I need to be awake. The caffeine allows me to focus as well. Now, all I can have is tea. Don't get me wrong, I love tea, but it isn't coffee. I meet with my Writing Group in a Starbucks every week, sometimes more if we go to the 24hr one. I can't have any of the goodies any longer. That is upsetting.
Thank you to everyone who has listened to my bellyaching about this. I'm not trying to go on and on about it, but talking about it is the way I know how to deal with it. And to those who are telling me that I'm being silly and need to let it go because it isn't a big deal, and to the one who actually sang that stupid song to me, I'm not being silly. It is a big deal. It is a big deal to me, especially considering I was the one that lost body parts. I'm not apologizing for my emotions and expressing my feelings. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Also, mean spirited jokes about me not being able to drink coffee again falls into that category. You make thing you are being funny, but you are not.
Now that I am done with my lamenting and my ranting, I should move on to my April goals. I am a bit behind. Camp NaNo is going on this month. I'm just not going to make it. I will wait for the one in June. If I write, I write. I'm not forcing it this month. I really only have three goals this month.
1. Continue research for things I need to research, including First Book (I promise, K!)
2. Finish and mail these daggone blankets.
3. Work on my website.
That really is about it this month. I don't want to set any more than that because I really don't see myself doing much more.
Oh, that reminds me. To my fellow Borders Refugees: Several activities, events, and dates have been thrown around. Writing things for a thing, and making a thing for a thing....fill me in, please, with dates. I'm forgetful.
I know I've gone on about this since the surgery, and I'm sorry for the ones who have had to listen to me, but in my defense, this was a really traumatic experience for me. Yes, I know it was a laproscopic surgery and an out patient procedure, but this is the biggest and scariest thing I have experienced. In the surgery world, this was a minor thing, especially compared to my friend, Springfield who has had open heart surgery, but, like everything, it is a spectrum and this is where I am on the spectrum. I was expecting a cyst removal and an appendectomy, not everything else. I didn't expect it to be an actual serious surgery. The fallopian tube was close to bursting, which would have been a life threatening event. I also don't know what that is going to do to my system, my cycle, or my reproductive capabilities. I don't know what is going to happen now that my appendix is gone, although I am now a statistic. 1 in 2000 people have their appendix removed at some point in their lives. I don't know if I will ever have to go through that again. Now that I have had one cyst, does this mean I'm going to get more? What happens if I get another cyst on my other fallopian tube and I lose that one? And where the hell is my right ovary??? All these things have been going through my mind and I'm kind of freaked out about it. I don't know how these things are going to impact my life. I know that a life style change is inevitable. I'm trying to get my health in check and sacrifices must be made. The biggest one is my caffeine consumption. I love coffee. I live on it. I am really, very upset that I can't really drink it anymore. It isn't fair. As an insomniac, I need it to be awake when I need to be awake. The caffeine allows me to focus as well. Now, all I can have is tea. Don't get me wrong, I love tea, but it isn't coffee. I meet with my Writing Group in a Starbucks every week, sometimes more if we go to the 24hr one. I can't have any of the goodies any longer. That is upsetting.
Thank you to everyone who has listened to my bellyaching about this. I'm not trying to go on and on about it, but talking about it is the way I know how to deal with it. And to those who are telling me that I'm being silly and need to let it go because it isn't a big deal, and to the one who actually sang that stupid song to me, I'm not being silly. It is a big deal. It is a big deal to me, especially considering I was the one that lost body parts. I'm not apologizing for my emotions and expressing my feelings. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. Also, mean spirited jokes about me not being able to drink coffee again falls into that category. You make thing you are being funny, but you are not.
Now that I am done with my lamenting and my ranting, I should move on to my April goals. I am a bit behind. Camp NaNo is going on this month. I'm just not going to make it. I will wait for the one in June. If I write, I write. I'm not forcing it this month. I really only have three goals this month.
1. Continue research for things I need to research, including First Book (I promise, K!)
2. Finish and mail these daggone blankets.
3. Work on my website.
That really is about it this month. I don't want to set any more than that because I really don't see myself doing much more.
Oh, that reminds me. To my fellow Borders Refugees: Several activities, events, and dates have been thrown around. Writing things for a thing, and making a thing for a thing....fill me in, please, with dates. I'm forgetful.
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