I can’t believe it is December already. Mid December at that. This year has zoomed by. I have been a bit of a recluse here recently. I have had one medical thing after another and I’m still trying to cope and process. I think it will be easier to list them.
- Bipolar II- My doctor at Kaiser up and left with no warning, so I had to change doctors. The first one refused to fill my medications, with no explanation other than the fact I needed to see a Behavior Health specialist because of the Seroquel. I was under the impression I needed the medication for insomnia. I understand in the higher doses it is used to treat Bipolar and Schizophrenia. The pharmacists had to fight to get me a month dose. I can’t stop taking this medication. The withdrawal symptoms would put me in the hospital. I felt judged. I have been fighting this battle for over half my life and the last thing I needed was my doctor to make judgements about me. I was depressed and anxious, not Bipolar. The thing that upset me the most is the fact that she made this decision without discussing it with me. I understand that this medication is an anti-psychotic and rough and not one that a doctor would be comfortable prescribing to a new patient without meeting them. I get that. But I put my refill in three days before. Some one could have contacted me and told me to make an appointment or tell me that she wanted me to come in and discuss the medication or SOMETHING. I changed to a different doctor, and I’m really glad a did. She is amazing. I made an appointment and she is everything I need in a doctor. One of the first things we discussed is my medications. When I told her why I was on Seroquel, she was really confused. She told me I was on a high dose, any higher and I run the risk of serious health issues. I was on the dose that treated Bipolar. Wait….what? I wasn’t bipolar. I was depressed. She needed my medical records from PWC Family Medicine. The girl there was wonderful and printed my records for me instead of making me wait for three weeks. I made a copy for myself and started looking through them. I was pissed. I took a psych evaluation to rule out bipolar. The results were ADD, Generalized Anxiety, and Moderate to Severe Depression. After that point, my doctor there used the term “bipolar (unspecified)”. Not once was this discussed with me. Not one single time. She was treating me as having Bipolar and telling me it wasn’t bipolar. I went ahead and made appointments with the Behavior Health and spoke to an actual psychiatrist about my medications and the concerns I had. It was then that I got the official diagnosis of Bipolar II. It made sense and explains my behaviors. I also started therapy. My goal is the get me off the large dose. So that is that.
- Therapy- as I just mentioned, I started therapy. I have great therapist. I adore her. She was appalled that I was still on the waiting list for PWC. I explained to her that I was not a priority since I was not suicidal or self-harming. FOUR YEARS LATER. She has helped me greatly in the two sessions I have had with her. She has given me great coping techniques when it comes to the PTSD and anxiety. So that is a bonus.
- Diabetes- I have an official diagnosis. Thankfully, my A1C is 6.6 and is elevated because of my Seroquel. I’m not actually diabetic, but because I’m on a myriad of medications, a couple of them that does cause elevated blood sugars, we are treating it as if I’m actually diabetic. I need to keep close watch on my blood sugars. If we can’t control them with Metformin, then my doctors and I need to reevaluate my medications.
- Cholesterol Issues- yeah, see above. I have an ever so slightly elevated bad cholesterol, but I don’t have enough good cholesterol to combat it. Stupid meds.
- Back Issues- yeah this has been ongoing, but it is starting to cause nerve damage and fibromyalgia-like symptoms.
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